Day 4-6: Explaining Myself to Strangers

I am currently stuffing my maw with pistachios as I wait for the oven to pre-heat so I can make Kale Chips. WHAT HAS BECOME OF ME?!?!

All dramatics aside we’re almost a week in and I’m feeling…good. Strange, but good. There have been trials: the free pizza and soda at work, the boston creme pie at the end of my tour, the endless aisles of sweets in CVS, etc. There have also been victories: delicious new recipes, saving money on alcohol, and feeling, well, healthy!

I had a realization today. Never in my life have I actually tried to limit what I eat in any significant way. If I wanted candy I wouldn’t even stop to think if I needed it. I just bought it and it was mine and in my stomach in seconds (nomnomnom). I limited alcohol before (the month before my first half marathon), but other than that I pretty much did what I want. I say this because this whole thing has forced me to exercise something I use very, very rarely: self-restraint. It’s making me take the time to actually think and say “no”.

I had to say “no” in front of strangers for the first time today. When I’ve said “no” to friends or people I know and explain the Whole30 thing they are typically really understanding and supportive. Not necessarily so with strangers.

It’s partially self-inflicted. I think about how they must view me: A thin, young woman turning down a free slice of cake. Then explaining to them “Oh, I’m on a diet”. Baffled looks. “Oh, uhh, not to lose weight. To be healthy”. Further confusion. “UMM, I STILL EAT A LOT GUYS”. Then I think, why do I have to explain myself to strangers? Why do I care if they think I’m just some uppity skinny bitch who turns her nose up at sweets? I know why I’m doin’ what I’m doin’ and that’s all that matters. Seriously, people should eat however they want to as long as it brings them joy.

I’m just trying to figure out if I feel better and happier eating this kind of food than I was just eating whatever whenever. So far I AM feeling better. Is it sustainable? Hell no! You better believe I’m having a beer when this is over, but I also have a feeling I might want to stick with some of the changes I’ve made. We’ll just have to see. This is, after all, an experiment!

Went on a 4 mile run today. All 4 miles were around a 7:47 pace and, fuck, it was hard. I had to tell myself not to worry. I had a big race last weekend! And I’m on a new diet (with no carbs which I’m used to fueling with!). And it’s been over a month since I’ve done any sort of speed work. Of course it was hard. I’ve got the next three weeks to ease back into things before jumping back into a big training plan. So fingers crossed I still have some speed in me so training to BQ isn’t completely terrifying! That being said even though it was hard it still felt nice to be running something other than recovery pace. So there’s that.

Tomorrow I’m planning a nice, slow 10 mile run. Hopefully it won’t be TOO hard!


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One Response to Day 4-6: Explaining Myself to Strangers

  1. Patrick says:

    prediction – your 10 mile run will go better, especially if you are pacing it more like a LSR or something.

    Boston Creme Pie. Oh Snap! Rare on this side of the country. My grandmother used to bake the shit out of that. So good.

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