I’m alive.

In March of 2015 I was in a coma for a week because of a rare lung injury called ARDS. Look that shit up if you want to learn about a terrifying thing that can happen to your body! The odds are not great if you get it. It was caused by the flu. So, uh, get your flu shot.

I started a post awhile ago detailing my experiences in the hospital, and maybe I’ll finish it one day, but it’s a new year and I’m alive so that is PRETTY COOL. There are two reasons I am not in immense debt from my month long hospital stay 1) My husband, friends, and family all raised money for me because they are amazing humans and knew that I would be absolutely EFFED because I don’t get sick pay for any of my many jobs 2) my health insurance (THANKS, OBAMA, NO REALLY THANK YOU).

When I came out of my coma I had no idea what was going on for a little while. I didn’t know I’d been out for a week. I didn’t remember coming to the hospital. But once things started to come together I realized our wedding had to be postponed and I wouldn’t be able to run the marathon I was training for (OBVIOUSLY). At the time neither of those things bothered me very much because I was more concerned with re-learning how to walk then planning a wedding that was supposed to happen a month from then. Priorities, amiright. I really will have to finish up that post someday. I have a lot of good stories about my friends doing amazing things for me and nurses who literally saved my life. Also some fun hospital roommate shenanigans…

A lot of other things happened in 2015. We ended up getting legally married on our original date (because who wants to wait after all of the shit we’d just been through) and having a celebration a few months later. Maybe one day I’ll write a post about it because it was pretty fucking awesome. We went on the best honeymoon to Iceland and Disneyworld. I did my first play post coma. I got four tattoos (perfect way to deal with near death!). I cut all my hair off (this too).  I tip toed back into running. Honestly, a good chunk of this year was spent high on being alive. Every breath I took was relished. Every physical activity I accomplished felt monumental.

That being said I’ve been pretty inconsistent on the running front.

Recently we were in New York City seeing a close friend of ours in a show. He asked me if I was a running again and how much. I told him the most I’d run was four miles, and he asked if that was because my doctor put limitations of me or if it was because I was lazy.

Truth be told, it’s been laziness mixed with a little bit of fear. I’m afraid I won’t be able to run like I used to. I realize that’s a pretty dumb reason not to do something I love so I’m shutting that mindset down.

With that said, I mostly wanted to write here again to share my resolutions. Even if I don’t write in this blog the rest of the year I wanted a place to record my resolutions and to hold myself accountable.

1) Run the Vermont City Marathon (redemption, baby).

2) Apply for Grad School

3) Write every day

That’s it. Today I wrote and ran. I printed out the list of things I need to prepare for my grad school applications. For the first time in a long time I actually have a game plan for the next few years of my life. It’s exciting. I want to tell you that it’s scary because it seems like something that SHOULD be scary. But honestly, it’s not. Things feel right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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